Angling ringtones bring harmony to the riverbank
By Alan Hamilton

In the world of angling, silence is still deemed a virtue. By contrast, the mobile phone that springs to life with Crazy Frog or Nelly Furtado’s Promiscuous Girl is a form of public nuisance that speaks volumes about the ignorance and inconsideration of its owner.

Which is why Richard Hewitt, a keen fisherman, collector of rare tackle and the owner of Salmon Reel, a company that specialises in mobile phone ringtones, has decided to reproduce the sounds of Brass Perfect, Fortuna and Zane Grey.

These are not rock bands — indeed, they are no more than a collection of clicks and whirrs — but they are music to the ear of the discerning angler. They are the sounds of some of the finest fishing reels ever made, each boasting a lovingly crafted mechanism.

The sounds were recorded in the museum of Hardy in Alnwick, Northumberland, where a vast collection of vintage reels is on display. “Hardy is unquestionably the most famous reel manufacturer in the world,” Mr Hewitt said. “We chose those three as our premium sounds because of the quality of their check mechanisms and their heritage.”
He also offers the Field, the Silex Major and the Angel, the latter a model currently in production that has a much softer sound than those of the older reels — so soft, indeed, that you might not even realise when your phone is ringing.

Mr Hardy had the idea of harnessing the soothing and satisfying tones of a fine fishing rod in action when his daughters showed him how far ringtone technology had advanced. “One of the motivating factors was my irritation at mobile phones and the way ringtones are so intrusive,” he said.

When Izaak Walton wrote in 1653 of “those nimble little musicians of the air that warble forth their curious ditties”, he was talking about birds, being more than 300 years ahead of mobile phones.

He would have been horrified by the present-day sounds with which the inconsiderate angler can rend the placid air of the riverbank.

Many ringtones can be downloaded free, but Mr Hewitt is charging between £3 and £5 for his via the internet, with some of the proceeds going to the North Atlantic Salmon Fund, a conservation body.

Salmon Reel’s other ringtones include the songs of the sparrow, lark and crow, the sounds of goats, sheep and rustling woodland. There is also a selection for the keen equestrian, who can be alerted with the sounds of a neigh, a trot or a gallop.

Controversy rages over which is the world’s most irritating ringtone, although Crazy Frog has topped the polls more than once.

Other strong contenders are the one that replicates Maria Sharapova’s primal scream on the Centre Court at Wimbledon, the one of Oliver Hardy announcing that Stan Laurel has got him into another fine mess, and the excruciating recording of Bob Hope and Bing Crosby singing Hoots Mon.

In China a current favourite is a ringtone featuring the ranting of a football commentator who almost launched himself into orbit with an overexcited summary of the Italy-Australia game in the World Cup.

But according to industry sources the most popular ringtone in the world remains the simplest: the sound of an old-fashioned telephone ringing.

When Walton wrote that “God has two dwellings, one in heaven and the other in a meek and thankful heart”, he might have added, “and in a phone that purrs like a Hardy reel”.