Polyphonic Ringtones - A Useful Babysitting Aid?
By Philip Nicosia

Polyphonic ringtones have turned cell phones from an ordinary communication tool into a multi functional device with a variety of purposes-one of which is entertaining bored children.

As a father of an active toddler, I often find myself in situations where my child is a) about to break something very expensive, b) screaming in a public place. The most obvious solution, of course, would be to give him a toy to keep him amused. But as any parent knows, toys do not work when they are supposed to. They will be flung to the floor (or worse, at the strangers sitting at the next table). In emergency situations like that, I bring out my phone.

There's something about the polyphonic ringtones that provide a hypnotic, calming effect on small children. They listen to it, over and over again. My son's favourite, the end credit theme of Sponge Bob, has been known to keep him seated in one place for five minutes. For an 18 month old, that's nothing short of a miracle.

For that reason, I always keep a number of polyphonic tones that my son might like. The Barney Song-the anthem of all toddlers and their unfortunate parents-is armed and ready whenever we enter a restaurant. There is also, for some mysterious reason, Brian McKnight's "One Last Cry." I don't know why he likes it, or even when he first heard it, but we use it whenever he goes to the paediatrician and needs to stay still for a shot. (For those who will accuse me of not raising my child properly by exposing him to cheesy ballads, I defend myself by saying that he also likes The Beatles and John Coltrane.) Yes, even the most modern songs have been converted into polyphonic tunes. Of course the classics are there-my wife's "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" sounds particularly fairy-like in its polyphonic form. Download whatever you like. Or whatever your child likes, even if you hate it, because we all know he's the boss.

I have a theory that the reason children like polyphonic tones is that it has that music box quality: delicate, tinkling rhythms. Though deeper and less metallic than the blips of music boxes of old, it still sounds equally as magical to the innocent ears of a child. And, of course, there is the advantage that polyphonic tunes are now more diverse than the standard music box themes of Fur Elise, and I do not have to deal with a pink ballerina. (Barney is bad enough.)

Who would've thought that a mobile phone could be such a useful babysitting aid, or that polyphonic ring tones would rank as high as disposable diapers in the parents' list of modern inventions to be thankful for. While it does have a lot of uses in the adult world-with everyone in the room carrying a mobile phone, having a unique ring tone lets you know when it's your call-its greatest contribution to society is the peace it provides frazzled parents. Yes, music does have the power to soothe the "savage beasts".