Melodic ringtones aren't music to the ears of co-workers
By KIM ODE

Maybe it's the 10th deedle-deedle of "Fur Elise" keening over the next cubicle, or the fifth time an electronic "American Idiot" derails your train of thought. Some days, a single, tinny "Play That Funky Music," makes you want to pitch your nowhere-to-be-seen co-worker's cell phone into the break room refrigerator.

Our offices are alive with the ringtones of music, thanks to the apparently irresistible need to declare our cleverness in four-second sound bites.


Curt Milton / P-I
Whoa, lighten up. What's the problem with a few bars of music breaking up the office monotony?

Here's the problem: A colleague -- let's call her Elise -- goes to a meeting, or to lunch, or on a bathroom break that leads to a hallway conversation that leads to someone else's desk. That's how a workplace works. Except that Elise left her cell phone behind and someone is determined to reach her every ... two ... minutes. And this is not the first time.

Whatever happened to common courtesy?

"First you have to understand that there's nothing common about cell phone courtesy," said Carol Page of Boston, who founded www.cellman ners.com, a Web site on which she dispenses etiquette advice and hosts forums.

Contrary to the usual complaint of hearing banal cell phone conversations, the ringtone issue reflects a yearning for the banality of the familiar telephone ring -- such a staple of workplace noise that it doesn't snag your brain the way a few bars of Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus" can.

For listeners, the problem often is a matter of volume. "People hate being startled by loud sounds," Page said. And owners need to recall the beauty of the technology: These are mobile phones.

The issue is heating up, judging by the tone on some online forums. One person maintains cell phones should have only two options: Vibrate or electrocution. Another unloads about people who pause a moment before answering for some acknowledgement of their clever ringtone.

No wonder cell phone owners have become a tad defensive, having been made to feel like pariahs for even checking their messages.

So, is it ever permissible to answer someone's cell phone? Turn it down? Turn it off? Two people shared their strategies on cellmanners.com.


"I would turn the cell phone off, then speak to the owner when he/she returned. If this person ignores a polite request to be a little more considerate of others, I would then go to the boss and request that a new policy be made that all cell phones in the office should be on silent mode."


"I would turn the cell phone off/put on silent, then speak with the owner of the cell phone when they return. I have actually been in this situation, and it is very, very annoying to everyone around. It causes a ruckus and stops everyone from the work they are doing. I think owners should be required to keep cell phones on silent if they are allowed in the workplace at all."

Page urges people to resist the temptation to answer an untended phone. It's an invasion of privacy, so why compound the error? Besides, she added, "Do you really want to end up talking to someone's little kid?"

Best to have a conversation with your co-worker. The trick is in knowing how.

"People don't know how to confront people who are causing a problem except in a hostile way," Page said. "And it's almost impossible to confront someone with bad cell manners without getting a hostile reaction."

Page counsels complainers to keep the conversation light and focused on the greater good of the workplace. People may have no idea that their ringtone annoys others.

Most matters of cell phone etiquette boil down to seeing ourselves as others see us -- or hear us. Or in this case, hear our possessions. So turn down the volume and keep your phone at your side. Plus, it doesn't hurt to have an appreciation of music history.

"I went absolutely nuts when I heard someone's phone with Led Zeppelin's 'Whole Lotta Love' in those high dinky tones," said Page, 56. "I mean, is that sacrilege or what?"