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Funny Stuff --> Funny Jokes --> Business jokes
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Submitted by: Icy_Fire |
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Total Views: 2082 |
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Release Date: Jun 20th, 2007 |
Rating: No Rated | 0 rate(s)
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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: Human Resources
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
SO...
TRY SAYING
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF
When the f**k do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING
I'm certain that is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF
No f**king way!!
TRY SAYING
Really?
INSTEAD OF
You've got to be sh*tting me.
TRY SAYING
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF
Tell someone who gives a sh*t.
TRY SAYING
Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF
Ask me if I give a sh*t.
TRY SAYING
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF
It's not my f**king problem.
TRY SAYING
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF
What the f**k?!?!
TRY SAYING
I'm not sure I can implement this.
INSTEAD OF
Fuck it, it won't work.
TRY SAYING
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING
Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF
Who the f**k cares?
TRY SAYING
He's not familiar with the problem.
INSTEAD OF
He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING
Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF
Eat sh*t and die motherf**ker.
TRY SAYING
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF
Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING
I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF
Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF
Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF
This job sucks.
TRY SAYING
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF
Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING
I see.
INSTEAD OF
Blow me.
TRY SAYING
Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF
Another f**king meeting!!!
TRY SAYING
I don't think this will be a problem.
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I really don't give a sh*t.
TRY SAYING
He's somewhat insensitive.
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He's a f**king prick.
TRY SAYING
She's an aggressive go getter.
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She's a ball busting bitch.
TRY SAYING
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF
You don't know what the f**k you're doing
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Comment: 1
[Add Comment]
 Polite! (by blackrose, Jul 13th, 2007)
I'm a rude man, oh, I have to learn it heart or i will lose the job!!!! |
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To All Employees - Try Saying . . . 
