Audio4fun Community Audio Community
Every day a new tone for your mobile phone
Home | Media Morphers | Community | Promotion | Forum | Holiday | Online Game Chat | Music | Add-ons | Funny Ringtones | Funny Stuff | Funny Sounds
Delicious
Editor's Choice
Funny Stuff
Funny ringtones
Funny sounds
Funny audio clips
Funny jokes
Funny flashes
Funny pictures
Funny Video
Music
Funny song parodies
Morphed songs
Free remix songs
Tutorials for Music Morpher
Community
VIP Store
Add-ons
Parody Voices
Astrology
Online Dating
Archive
--> -->
Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites: Facebook! TwitThis! Digg! Delicious

Get all the new funny stuff emailed each day

New funny stuff
Microsoft Market Penetration [Add Comment]
 
Submitted by:  kitu_dick
Total Views:  1458
Release Date:  Jan 17th, 2011
Rating:  No Rated | 0 rate(s)

INTRODUCING CONTRACEPTIVE98 ! ! !

Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every
aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a
suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft
has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It
believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in
penetrating the copulation enhancement market.

The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for
virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the
non-propagation of life.

The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98,
DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton
Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the
package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions.
Contraceptive98 Professional is the Client / Server edition, for
professionals in the sexual services sector.

Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups,
aimed at the housewife and gigolo niches.

While Contraceptive98 does not address non-traditional copulatory
channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year. They will be
known as BackDoor, AuraLee, TitElation, and JerkOff.

OPERATION

Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the
package. At installation, the Condom98 software checks for minimum
hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product installs and
is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements. After
installation, operation commences. One caution is that the user must
have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the session is
complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets the message,
"It is now safe to turn off your partner."

DRAWBACKS

Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major concern
during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the most serious
error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs, but most of these
have been eliminated. The product needs to be installed each time its
used.

CONCLUSION

Contraceptive98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it is a
reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far superior to
its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of the software,
that is) will add missing functionality, such as Backout and Restore,
Uninterruptible Power Supply, and Onboard Camera (Peepy Cam).
Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic about Contraceptive98's
potential. He recently said, "Our contraceptive products will help our
customers do to each other what we've been doing to them for years."




 
Tags:
Comment:  1 [Add Comment]
Introduce! (by blackrose, Jul 17th, 2007)
Good product! Buy it to use!



Share your funny jokes with us and your friends as well. It's very easy. Just upload here.
 
See other funny jokes:
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers What should they get? Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her ...
Total Views:  1143;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Blind Justice A young boy asked is father, "Dad, do lawyers ever tell the truth?" ...
Total Views:  1508;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers What's your wife's name? St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admitt...
Total Views:  1357;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Retirement A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, whe...
Total Views:  1474;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedd...
Total Views:  1461;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers 747 Full of Lawyers Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? A: He threat...
Total Views:  1218;
  More lawyer jokes...

Other categories:
  Top 5 views   Lawyer quotes (1)
  Marriage jokes (4)   Medical jokes (4)
  Office jokes (4)   Political jokes (23)
  Redneck jokes (5)   School jokes (5)
  Sex jokes (4)   Sports jokes (180)
  Thanksgiving jokes (9)   More categories...
 
AV Voice Changer Software Diamond AV Music Morpher Gold AV Video Morpher AV Webcam Morpher
$99.95 $99.95 $29.95 $39.95

Field: Category:    

Voice changer software
Tell friends
Newsletter

Get all the new funny stuff emailed each day


New funny stuff
Home | Voice over for PC | Media Morphers | Community | Promotion | Forum | Holiday | Astrology | Smart Updates | Online Game Chat
Music | Funny Ringtones | Funny Stuff | Funny Sounds | Funny Song Parodies | Morphed Songs | Remix Songs | Funny Audio Clips