Audio4fun Community Audio Community
Every day a new tone for your mobile phone
Home | Media Morphers | Community | Promotion | Forum | Holiday | Online Game Chat | Music | Add-ons | Funny Ringtones | Funny Stuff | Funny Sounds
Delicious
Editor's Choice
Funny Stuff
Funny ringtones
Funny sounds
Funny audio clips
Funny jokes
Funny flashes
Funny pictures
Funny Video
Music
Funny song parodies
Morphed songs
Free remix songs
Tutorials for Music Morpher
Community
VIP Store
Add-ons
Parody Voices
Astrology
Online Dating
Archive
--> -->
Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites: Facebook! TwitThis! Digg! Delicious

Get all the new funny stuff emailed each day

New funny stuff
Merry Christmas To My Female Friends [Add Comment]
 
Submitted by:  Diva_in_the_making
Total Views:  2691
Release Date:  Jul 14th, 2007
Rating:  No Rated | 0 rate(s)

If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.

I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.




 
Tags: Christmas  Happy New Year  a christmas story  christmas jokes  merry christmas  noel  santa claus 
Comment:  1 [Add Comment]
if I.... (by blackrose, Jul 23rd, 2007)
and I will wish.....



Share your funny jokes with us and your friends as well. It's very easy. Just upload here.
 
See other funny jokes:
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Christmas From Your Pets Meowy Christmas from your loving cat.Aren't I cute? Now leave me the hell alone...
Total Views:  2126;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Christmas 2000 A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated....Please read the followin...
Total Views:  2058;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Dashing Through The Mall Dashing through the mall... On a late December day, Through the $tores we go Cha...
Total Views:  2719;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Christmas Present? A man's wife has an artificial leg. Shortly before Christmas, hebuys her a new ...
Total Views:  2230;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Why Christmas Trees Are Better Than Women 10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had...
Total Views:  7990;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers PC Season's Greetings "Felicitations Concomitant with Your Observance of the Season and Many Prop...
Total Views:  2546;
  More christmas jokes...

Other categories:
  Top 5 views   Clean jokes (33)
  Computer jokes (4)   Condom jokes (4)
  Crazy jokes (73)   Dirty jokes (255)
  Drunk jokes (4)   Family jokes (126)
  Food jokes (6)   Free jokes (4)
  Funny quotes (5)   More categories...
 
AV Voice Changer Software Diamond AV Music Morpher Gold AV Video Morpher AV Webcam Morpher
$99.95 $99.95 $29.95 $39.95

Field: Category:    

Voice changer software
Tell friends
Newsletter

Get all the new funny stuff emailed each day


New funny stuff
Home | Voice over for PC | Media Morphers | Community | Promotion | Forum | Holiday | Astrology | Smart Updates | Online Game Chat
Music | Funny Ringtones | Funny Stuff | Funny Sounds | Funny Song Parodies | Morphed Songs | Remix Songs | Funny Audio Clips