Audio4fun Community Audio Community
Every day a new tone for your mobile phone
Home | Media Morphers | Community | Promotion | Forum | Holiday | Online Game Chat | Music | Add-ons | Funny Ringtones | Funny Stuff | Funny Sounds
Delicious
Editor's Choice
Funny Stuff
Funny ringtones
Funny sounds
Funny audio clips
Funny jokes
Funny flashes
Funny pictures
Funny Video
Music
Funny song parodies
Morphed songs
Free remix songs
Tutorials for Music Morpher
Community
VIP Store
Add-ons
Parody Voices
Astrology
Online Dating
Archive
--> -->
God's Human DNA Code [Add Comment]
 
Submitted by:  empoleon
Total Views:  1559
Release Date:  Jan 12th, 2011
Rating:  No Rated | 0 rate(s)

For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very
little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function.

I have solved the mystery.

The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the
rest of it is comments.

Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as
follows:

===
/* HUMAN_DNA.H
*
* Human Genome
* Version 2.1
*
* (C) God
*/

/* Revision history:
*
* 0000-00-01 00:00 1.0 Adam.
* 0000-00-02 10:00 1.1 Eve.
* 0000-00-03 02:11 1.2 Added penis code to male version. A bit messy --
* will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
* 0017-03-12 03:14 1.3 Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from
* elephant-dna.c
* 0145-10-03 16:33 1.4 Removed tail.
* 1115-00-31 17:20 1.5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
* 2091-08-20 13:56 1.6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
* 2501-04-09 14:04 1.7 Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made
* darker to match my own image.
* 2909-07-12 02:21 1.8 Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' teeth.
* Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
* 4501-12-31 14:18 1.9 Increase average height.
* 5533-02-12 17:09 2.0 Added gay option, triggered by high population
* density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
* 6004-11-04 16:11 2.1 Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre of
* CD.
*/

/* Standard definitions
*/

#define SEX male
#define HEIGHT 1.84
#define MASS 68
#define RACE caucasian

/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
*
* Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
* inheritance features.
*/

#include "mother.h"
#include "father.h"

#infndef FATHER
#warn("Father unknown -- guessingn")
#include "bastard.h"
#endif

/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
*/
#include

/* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper
* library sometime soon.
*/
struct genitals
{
#ifdef MALE
Penis *jt;
#endif
/* G_spot *g; Removed for debugging purposes */
#ifdef FEMALE
Vagina *p;
#endif
}

/* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
* Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
*/
DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);

/* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
*
* Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism
* to display at birth.
*
* Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
*/
Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);
===

...and so on.


[ Note that God uses three-space tabs ]




 
Tags:
Comment:  1 [Add Comment]
Adam & Eva! (by blackrose, Jul 17th, 2007)
History can't be changed!



Share your funny jokes with us and your friends as well. It's very easy. Just upload here.
 
See other funny jokes:
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Lawyers and God What's the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn't think he's a la...
Total Views:  1173;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Who handles cases? Nugent needed legal advice, so he walked into the office of Gregory, Ellis and G...
Total Views:  1355;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Special Lawyer A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousan...
Total Views:  1330;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Need a new lawyer Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer Your lawyer tel...
Total Views:  1181;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Lawyer at Broadway A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple ...
Total Views:  1484;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Question and answer jokes Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between...
Total Views:  1330;
  More lawyer jokes...

Other categories:
  Top 5 views   Lawyer quotes (1)
  Marriage jokes (4)   Medical jokes (4)
  Office jokes (4)   Political jokes (23)
  Redneck jokes (5)   School jokes (5)
  Sex jokes (4)   Sports jokes (180)
  Thanksgiving jokes (9)   More categories...
 
AV Voice Changer Software Diamond AV Music Morpher Gold AV Video Morpher AV Webcam Morpher
$99.95 $99.95 $29.95 $39.95

Field: Category:    

Voice changer software
Tell friends
Home | Voice over for PC | Media Morphers | Community | Promotion | Forum | Holiday | Astrology | Smart Updates | Online Game Chat
Music | Funny Ringtones | Funny Stuff | Funny Sounds | Funny Song Parodies | Morphed Songs | Remix Songs | Funny Audio Clips