Audio4fun Community Audio Community
Every day a new tone for your mobile phone
Home | Media Morphers | Community | Promotion | Forum | Holiday | Online Game Chat | Music | Add-ons | Funny Ringtones | Funny Stuff | Funny Sounds
Delicious
Editor's Choice
Funny Stuff
Funny ringtones
Funny sounds
Funny audio clips
Funny jokes
Funny flashes
Funny pictures
Funny Video
Music
Funny song parodies
Morphed songs
Free remix songs
Tutorials for Music Morpher
Community
VIP Store
Add-ons
Parody Voices
Astrology
Online Dating
Archive
--> -->
Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites: Facebook! TwitThis! Digg! Delicious

Get all the new funny stuff emailed each day

New funny stuff
Federal Employee Performance Evaluations [Add Comment]
 
Submitted by:  Articus
Total Views:  2031
Release Date:  Jul 17th, 2007
Rating:  No Rated | 0 rate(s)

These useful quotes were reportedly taken from actual federal employee performance evaluations:


1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."


2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."


3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."


4. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."


5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."


6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."


7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."


8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."


9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."


10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."


11. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."


12. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."


13. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."


14. "He doesn't have ulcers, he's a carrier."


15. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."


16. "He's been working with glue too much."


17. "He would argue with a signpost."


18. "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."


19. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."


20. "When his I.Q. reaches 50 we should sell."


21. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."


22. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."


23. "A prime candidate for natural deselection."


24. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."


25. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."


26. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."


27. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."


28. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."


29. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."


30. "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."


31. "One neuron short of a synapse."


32. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."


33. "Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes."


34. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."




 
Tags:
Comment:  1 [Add Comment]
Performance! (by blackrose, Jul 13th, 2007)
Really employees do that!



Share your funny jokes with us and your friends as well. It's very easy. Just upload here.
 
See other funny jokes:
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Deaf collector The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the priv...
Total Views:  1310;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Tied to a tree Farmer John was taking his cow and it's new born calf to sell in the auction. On...
Total Views:  1157;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers I have a big problem Bill and Boris are taking a break from a long summit. Boris says to Bill, "...
Total Views:  1445;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Business one-liners 96 Two monologues do not make a dialogue. Two rules to success in life: 1. Don&rsq...
Total Views:  1252;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Performance evaluation translations A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused. Accepts new job assignments willingly: ...
Total Views:  3418;
Special offers: coupons, bonus for MP3 Player, media morpher, and voice changer purchasers Sharks Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ...
Total Views:  1081;
  More business jokes...

Other categories:
  Top 5 views   Celebrities jokes (21)
  Christmas jokes (251)   Clean jokes (33)
  Computer jokes (4)   Condom jokes (4)
  Crazy jokes (73)   Dirty jokes (255)
  Drunk jokes (4)   Family jokes (126)
  Food jokes (6)   More categories...
 
AV Voice Changer Software Diamond AV Music Morpher Gold AV Video Morpher AV Webcam Morpher
$99.95 $99.95 $29.95 $39.95

Field: Category:    

Voice changer software
Tell friends
Newsletter

Get all the new funny stuff emailed each day


New funny stuff
Home | Voice over for PC | Media Morphers | Community | Promotion | Forum | Holiday | Astrology | Smart Updates | Online Game Chat
Music | Funny Ringtones | Funny Stuff | Funny Sounds | Funny Song Parodies | Morphed Songs | Remix Songs | Funny Audio Clips